There are scads
of experiences and situation in your past that determine the
emotional state you find your self in currently. No experience
is necessarily a bad one when it is dealt with and learned
from to promote even healthier decisions in the future.
If you feel that some of those experiences have left you in a
place of stagnant emotional progress then it is time to
embrace counseling. Talking to an objective party with
experience in guiding people to their own path of making
healthier decisions is one of the most valuable investments
you could make toward your own future romantic bliss.
First let’s just start out with a little exercise to tabulate
where a bouts you are on this emotional journey called life.
·
When you were very young what types of
personalities were you attracted to- class clown, athlete,
scholar, quite, or high energy
·
What role are you drawn to, either more passive
or more aggressive
·
Does making hard decisions come easily and
relatively enjoyably to you, or do you prefer someone else to
take the reigns
·
What gets you going…quirky or calm, quite or
kinetic
·
Qualities that rank high on your list…sense of
humor, talkative, good listener, enjoys debate
· Where
or with whom do you find yourself anxious, self-conscious, or
tempted to behave in some way other than you do with those
that you comfortable around
· What
challenges you in a good way to improve your self in a
positive nature
To help us
discover what it is that we want to achieve in ourselves and
our ideal date or mate, we’re going to visualize the qualities
and behaviors we see our ideal selves obtaining. We then have
to determine where reality matches up with this image and how
we can alter certain behaviors to grow into our ideal selves.
This exercise can also be done with whom you want to date.
Have a realistic view of your ideal and extend this image and
visualize how you’re personality meshes with theirs. Keep in
mind that as the type of relationship changes, most likely,
your projected ideal will also change. The beauty of this
exercise is establishing where our fantasies are feasible in
the sense of visualizing them and then determining the path to
them through a firm grounding in reality. The big difference
is really listening to what you would find the most joy and
satisfaction in, and not base them upon other people’s
opinions or society standards, these things will never make
you truly content. You are a unique amazing
individual…. give yourself that much credit.