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Fail Safety Flattery

Compliments can take any date type situation to another level as long as the words of kindness are coming from a completely genuine place. And trust me, people can smell a shallow compliment from a mile away. Also, even if you mean the compliment it could not necessarily sound like one if you talk about something that person is probably self-conscious about. For example: “Your bald spot is really well shaped.” or “You have nice ankles. They look really stable.” Are not going to get the reaction you’re hoping for even if they are true, and you mean them.

To be on the safe side, I’m going to give you some areas of flattery you should stick to when just getting to know someone. Complimenting someone’s hair is always a safe bet if you stick to things like how thick, wavy, shiny, curly, or healthy it is. Beware of touching hair without asking, which could tick off someone who spends a lot of time on their frock. You can also compliment on cut and color, just avoid using the words “die” or “unusual.”

Eyes are another sure thing that everyone likes hearing that they have nice ones. The key to complimenting eyes well is to go beyond color and become more descriptive, such as telling them they have warm, engaging, bright, expressive, laughing, or sympathetic eyes. You might want to avoid, “you have sexy eyes” until after the first date. Skin is also good if you notice that it is well taken care of. Hell, if you like the way something looks, just tell them and be descriptive so that they understand exactly the beauty you see in it.  Like if you like what their mouth does when they smile or how shiny their teeth are…tell them!

A good thing to remember when making the first move is to have an air of vulnerability without even coming near coming of as spineless. You can do this simply enough by asking for directions, help, or for their opinion, which is a form of a compliment because must you value what they think or you wouldn’t ask. Along the lines of being honest is telling them that you are a little nervous because you think their so great. Once is enough though, more than that will turn you from vulnerable to just plain anxiety ridden, which could make them just as nervous. You can also reveal that you don’t normally approach people but something about them makes it a moot point. If you do normally approach people, and they have probably seen you play the same line to four other people, don’t tell them you don’t. Liars aren’t ever cool, no matter how well they play the non-threatening card.

Stay away from any sort of stereotypical sounding pick-up lines. Worse than being sleazy they scream lack of originality, which is an instant turn-off for 96% of the population. Your best bet is to focus on the situation on hand and what you are feeling at the moment. For example, “I’m sorry, I had to come over here because your smile was keeping me from being able to concentrate on my friends’ conversation.” is way better than, “Do I know you?” The main thing to keep in mind when using an ice breaking line is that is made to open up a conversation, not to get you laid that night. Lines that reek “will you have sex with me” will send someone running faster than if you deliberately poured cranberry juice on them.      

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