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Planning a First Date

Number five. Pick a location that is relatively easy to get to. Really long train, car, or boat rides might be great once you’ve gotten to know each other, but for the first time you don’t want to overwhelm each other with to much intense togetherness, because you might overstay each other’s welcome. And then you’re stuck for the rest of the date. Both of your patience and nerves will tolerate shorter periods of intense getting to know you much better. Now this is an important one, avoid choosing an activity with lots of competition involved. It will inevitably end with one person feeling like a winner and another feeling like a loser. Not so cool I think we can all agree. Even if it isn’t you and your date that are competing if you’re trying to impress someone, and in the meantime someone else is kicking your butt, your demeanor will not be in its tip top form regardless. Also avoid large amounts of alcohol, that could make you say or do something you may regret. There is also the issue of possibly having to drive afterward. And leave time to get to know each other. That means a happy median between activity and quality time. Quality time that includes minimal outside distraction so you two can really get a sense of each other’s personality.

The big nine is to be sure not to incorporate other people you know into the date. That means no meeting with family members or friends or co-workers. Or planning a location where you think you two could possibly run into any of these people. The mood would shift from you two getting to know each other into your loved ones getting to know your date. That is a stage that should come much later, so as not to totally freak out your poor date. Another way to avoid, freak outs and insure the desire to have a second date is to keep the other party wanting more. That means your best bet is to choose an activity that is only two to three hours long, preferably two or under will keep damage down to a minimum.

Bad first dates start with bad date ideas. What all of these bad ideas have in common are unrealistic expectations. On the very top of our list of dreadful first date activities is going to a Wedding. Noooo! Weddings are a huge first date no-no, due to the fact that you’re probably surrounded by relatives or friends, the stakes are off the charts, and there would be no quality time, just no! Next would be a New Years Eve Party and Valentine’s Day. Once again if you stick to the guidelines you can clearly see that these are in blatant violation. High expectations, new outfits, booze galore, and possibly friends and the like. Valentine’s Day also tries to impose this manufactured and artificial romance on your first date that will either make both of you feel very uncomfortable, or try to create a feeling simple out of the demanding atmosphere as oppose to basing it on the actual chemistry you two are feeling. You can go ahead and throw Thanksgiving in that category, although I sincerely hope your instincts are astute enough to run from that first date option like it were the plague. Oh, and the beach is no good also. It just requires too much skin and also too much time, in general not a good idea.

Ok, now that we got the worst options out of the way, let’s take a look at the so-so ones. The movies have their pluses and their minuses as a first date option. A plus would be the tingles you get from hold hands in the dark and have an opportunity to calm down a bit before you have to really talk to each other. A minus would be that choosing a suitable movie may be a task, and then you don’t have a lot of connection time. I say save it for date two when you two would already have gotten to know each other a bit and what movie to see wouldn’t be quite such a shot in the dark.

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