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Ready, Set, Go...
or Not
It is all in the timing, as they say. Finding the right person
at the wrong time can batch any hopes of having a truly
healthy relationship with that person it the future. So you
really need to know when you are in your prime dating time,
and when not. Just because you feel you want to be with
someone does not mean you should be. This could be a tell tail
sign that you are not ready, and if you do pursue it you could
be needy, and reliant on their approval…yuck! And by the way
there is no right time for the wrong person, if you get an
uneasy feeling from someone, or sense they have different
relationship goals than you do than it will not work out,
cause you both pain, and possibly taint future relationships.
I know this may seem a bit daunting, how are you supposed to
know whose “right” or “wrong”. Well, it is all in how you
feel. How you feel about yourself when you meet them, how you
feel about them when you meet them, and how you feel when you
spend time with them.
Let’s start with the times that are WRONG for you to consider
dating someone. First up, when you are sad or lonely and have
just come out of a relationship, or move to a new place. At
this time you are wanting someone to just be around more than
you want a real relationship, and this will inevitable lead to
dependency which wears down a relationship faster than gravel
on rubber souls. You ask this person to make you Ok but you
simply ignore the real issues with your growth that you should
be concentrating on, there finding yourself in a worse state
and situation then you were in before. Other bad times to
immediately fill the inner void with someone are: Following
the death of any one or thing that was close to you, if you’ve
lost your job, if you don’t have a place to live, or of course
if are depressed. Pity is the last reason to become involved
with any individual, that means even if you have it all
together and feeling good, you should not start dating
some one in any of these situations either, because you will
end up just as dysfunctional as them by the end of it. And
then you will need to take time to get yourself back on track
before you start dating again. Now of course, there are
lessons we are going to need to learn in our life and we could
not possibly avid every bump in the road that could come our
way. Just remember to learn for them no matter what. Don’t
spiral down because of a few-not-so-choice relationship
decisions, keep moving on up the staircase of your love life
enlightenment.
Carpe Diem folks! That is, if you are in a place where you
feel yourself coming to the top of your game it is the perfect
time for you to consider jumping in the dating pool. These
doesn’t mean you need to be making six figures a year and have
a model figure, but it does mean you wake up in the morning
glad to be you. So if you’re jazzed with your friends, who you
are, and what you do, why take the risk of dating? Good
question. Well, because the right person at the right time can
elevate your life in ways you never imagined. And if it is
really the right person they can help you elevate the
rest of your life like you never imagined! Above all else
if you are smart, aware, and know yourself and what you want,
there is a lot less risk involved in dating than there is fun!
In these cases, look for reasons to step out of your normal
grind and investigate dating opportunities. Such as, a big
event is coming up, you’re friends have started to pair up
with people, or you want to explore your city, and not because
you feel alone or left out but because you feel great.
Overall, if you are feel good you are going to much more
capable of presenting an accurate depiction of your true self.
Don’t ever throw the pity party that revolves around “This is
just who I am, depressed and generally unhappy.” That is Bull
&%$#, we are all capable of being content with ourselves, or
at least working toward a direction where we would be. Don’t
settle, because you will be short change every person you
become involved with until you take your own happiness into
your own hands. Relationships can’t cure anything, only
compliment.
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