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No matter what you already have some patterns in action, and they constitute who you’re likely to date, who you’re attracted to, and how you interact with them. First take a look at what types of people you’re attracted to like, blonde or brunette, actors or athletes, down-to-earth or flighty, serious or silly, needy or withdrawn. Now sort out the different accepts of your personality that people would be attracted to (be realistic) for example, you’re a great listener, or have great comedic timing, or can quote Hemmingway, or you have a connection with animals. Basically start figuring out how you would fit into someone else’s first list of attractions. OK now you need to make a list of you’re trigger points, who know, the things that set you off like no other. These phrases or situations are big fat representations of a painful experience we have had in the past or something that if we witnessed it take place between our parents would have been devastating. One of mine would be, someone cursing at me or calling me names, this was completely off-premise between my parents, so if someone said “Are you  #@^%&* crazy!?” when I clearly wasn’t joking, that would upset me to no end.

Next is the time to do a detailed analysis of your pros and can-do with-outs. Both lists should be extremely specific and grounded in truth. In other words, don’t be to hard on yourself, or to kind, be honest. The pros list should go deeper than “I’m a nice person.” What are the little nuances that constitute “nice person”? Those are the types of details that should be on this list. Now for the can-do-with-outs list look to you pros list because most have a not so positive flip side that tends to be easy in which to indulge. The purpose of finding the less positive accepts of your personality is to start re-patterning your behavior to avoid hurting yourself or others. So if you catch yourself losing your temper or being sarcastic you can give yourself a mental note and segue that negative into a positive, like your patience or ability to laugh.
 

• Breakin' it Down Introspective Style

• The Mother & Father Factor

• Who Am I and Who Do I Like?

• Pin-pointing and Attracting Your Match

• Ready, Set, Go…or No